


Pluto

by Sif (Rosae)



Series: Frostironstrange Works [17]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: A 2012 Style Avengers Fic, I take my little Loki and butterflies motif to a ten, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internal Monologue, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Mind Control, Mostly the mind control, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Has A Heart, but also in general
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 12:24:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17244146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosae/pseuds/Sif
Summary: He still didn’t know how Anthony had figured it out. All he had overheard was something about energy scans as Anthony and Thor had burst into his cell arguing. He’d looked up in alarm and Anthony had shouted victoriously.“Ha! See, they’re blue! I told you so!”Thor had looked confused and horrified and taken a step towards Loki only to jerk back when Other Loki lunged for him.





	Pluto

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a very rambly fic I've been working on for quite awhile. Title is from Pluto by Sleeping At Last which I had on repeat while writing this.

It started when Loki was young. Far too young. 

Frigga had summoned a butterfly for Thor to chase around the garden. Loki toddling after him. Her youngest son had only just learned to walk, early for his age too. The butterfly she had summoned was a work of art, delicate wings and swift movements. It had taken her almost a thousand years of her life to master such a spell. Odin had smiled, both at his children running about and at his wife’s casual display of power. 

Thor grew distracted by some noise in the grass, but Loki stayed fixated on the butterfly. Intent. He was a quiet child, not babbling or gurgling like Thor had. Despite this, he was incredible aware of his environment. His focus could rival Frigga’s on a good day. Frigga shifted her hand slightly, and the butterfly did a twirl before softly landing on Loki’s finger so he could inspect it. Little eyes traced it’s form, shifting the butterfly back and forth so he didn’t miss a single detail. 

Loki looked up at Frigga. Slowly, carefully, he made his way over to her with the butterfly still on his hand. Both Odin and Frigga had to work hard not to swoon at his determination. He held the butterfly up to her. 

“Mama’s.” 

Both parents were left wide-eyed by Loki’s declaration. Frigga recovered first and gave her son a smile. She reached out and took the butterfly. 

“Thank you Loki, that was mine! I’m glad to see it safely returned.”

That brought forth a proud smile, though perhaps more from her tone than the words themselves. Then, Loki promptly toddled two steps forward and dropped himself on his bottom. Focused on a new task. Odin and Frigga exchanged a glance, both unsure if Loki had truly identified the butterfly as of Frigga’s making or if it had been intended as a gift. To have such a sense of magic at such a young age… 

Luckily, neither had to wait too long for an answer. Loki had figured out his task, and with a wild gesture of his hands, he summoned not one, not two, not three, but roughly five dozen butterflies. Each in a different shade, although with simplistic designs. Thor’s attention was caught by the development and he raced back over to try and catch at least one as they evaded him. 

One butterfly broke off from the others, coated in a pretty shade of green and gold, and landed on Loki’s finger. He inspected it, changing it’s design a few times before apparently being satisfied with it. Then he pushed himself back to his feet and turned back to his parent’s wide eyed expressions, bright green eyes alight with joy and a big smile on his face. He held the butterfly up and allowed it to fly up to rest by Frigga’s own butterfly on her finger. 

“Mama’s!’ He exclaimed again, pointing to the first butterfly. He’s finger moved to point to the newcomer, “‘Oki’s!” When this was not meet with the same reaction it was the first time, Loki’s face fell. Even so young, he could feel his parent’s shocked eyes on him. 

Loki was not old enough yet to pronounce his L’s. It did not stop his parents from being afraid of him. 

After a moment, they recovered. He would be praised and scooped up into his mother’s arms. Plans would be made for his education as a sorcerer and Frigga would begin to think of which spells she would like to teach him first. None of it would erase the fear that Loki had seen on their faces, just for a moment, just for a heartbeat. It stuck in his mind. Festered there, a wound that would never really close. 

He was so young when everything began.

 

As Loki sat, alone in a dark cell. He reflected. His actions were still not his own. He could feel the part of him that was planning escape and murder, but for right now it was helpless and could be safely ignored. Thor hadn’t noticed his eye color change. Not when Loki had tried to take a throne he never wanted. Not when he had tried to hurt a world he loved dearly and not when he did everything in his power to fail. It was one of the humans that had caught on.

Anthony Stark was fascinating. He had looked a god dooming his world in the eyes, offered him a drink and then threatened him. All while looking him straight in the eyes, as an equal, no more and no less. Whatever he had seen in Loki’s eyes had tipped him off because after Anthony had brushed the stars, after he’d fallen, after everything he had bothered to look again. Loki had not even entertained the thought that someone might find out he was unable to control his actions. Loki hadn’t thought anyone would care enough to find out, or care to tell anyone if they did. Yet here he was, the rope at the center of a game of tug-of-war between Anthony Stark and Asgard. He still didn’t know how Anthony had figured it out. All he had overheard was something about energy scans as Anthony and Thor had burst into his cell arguing. He’d looked up in alarm and Anthony had shouted victoriously. 

“Ha! See, they’re blue! I told you so!” 

Thor had looked confused and horrified and taken a step towards Loki only to jerk back when Loki lunged for him.

Anthony had then spoken to a messenger who was asking for Loki’s transfer to Asgard. Anthony and SHIELD had wanted Asgard to free Loki from the spell or at least attempt it while he was here and could be then questioned. Or brought back to tell them who was really behind it all. They had thought that Odin would be overjoyed to find out his not-son was not actually evil. Loki could clearly remember how hopeful Anthony had sounded when he’d come to talk at Loki. How he’d told him everything was going to fine. The other Loki, the one in control laughed at that. Little did Anthony know the original Loki was laughing too. 

Steve had come to talk at him a few times. All of the Avengers had come at least once. Thor only once. They had figured out from Clint that he could still hear them even if he could not react as he pleased. So they kept him updated. It was strangely kind, and it made him feel like crying when he thought about it too much. Thought about how no one in Asgard would have bothered. Only silly mortals trying their best. Clint had come a few times. Angry the first time, trying to come to terms with everything. Apologetic the second time, sorry for his words and blame. Quiet the third time, but saying so much still. Steve had come twice when Anthony could not. He was the most awkward about it, but fell into place eventually. Natasha had come five times, the first time just to stare for hours at him. Watching his every move. Judging. She found enough that day, the next time she came her tone was friendly, calm, helpful. He liked her. Bruce came four times. He was stressed by the visits at first, but seemed determine to come. Loki thought it must have something to do with understanding the situation well. Having no control over a monster inside of you. 

Anthony came the most. Loki had lost track of his visits. He would stay for hours when able, working on projects and rambling to Loki about all sorts of stuff. Sometimes the visits were shorter, just to let Loki know the latest update on the situation. Anthony did everything in his power to keep Loki updated. 

Loki still remembered when Anthony came in with his face hollow and empty looking. After the messenger from Asgard. 

“So we got some fucking contact from your dad. Actually, you know what, no. We got some contact from Odin. He’s lost that damn title. Odin has demanded ‘your immediate return for trial and punishment’ stating that ‘no mind control is involved, and any thoughts otherwise only prove that mortals are not fit to keep a jotun sorcerer under control’ and ‘you should not be foolish about this choice, Loki Laufeyson speaks only in lies and falsehoods.’” 

Anthony trailed off, clenching and unclenching his fists. This was personal for him now. Loki wished that he could say he thought the outcome would be different, but he knew his father well. Anthony had made promises that night, of safety and ‘never going back to that hellhole’. Loki was sure that when push came to shove, those promises would fade. He didn’t blame them for it, quite on the contrary he was beyond touched that someone had tried for him at all. But it was inevitable that they would give up. He wasn’t worth the trouble. 

Nobody had brought him any word of Thor since that day. Loki had to admit that he was curious, but he had yet to get the other Loki to ask after him. Other Loki was pleased by Thor’s absence too much. 

It had been two days since his last update. Anthony had said something about a wizard who might be able to help. The contact with Asgard was growing more hostile with each passing day. It wouldn’t be long now. Loki hoped that when his punishment came, whatever it was, that Thor wouldn’t look. That Thor would remember him as the brother he was, and not the traitor who would be bloodstains on the executioner's axe. 

But now it had been two days, and he found his mind wandering to other things. The fear stood out most of all. It niggled at his mind, and tempted him back to that memory over and over again. He could recall what creating the butterflies had felt like at first, overwhelming excitement and joy out into the world. It had been wonderful for all a few seconds until he had looked up. Until he had seen the horror. The fear. That fear. That never went away.

 

Clint came to visit again, Other Loki was growing bored, and let Loki voice a thought that it thought harmless. 

“I was so young when it started.”

He look taken aback, like he had heard the tone change. The dreamy voice. For a moment, he had been hopeful, but Other Loki had seized the reins again and was spouting angry coverups. Clint sighed, but replied nonetheless. Ignoring everything else, filtering out the Other 

“I was seven the first time I realized my dad didn’t see a person when he looked at me.”

Loki could understand that. It made sense, their fear at the monster learning new tricks. Butterflies one day, ice beasts the next. Maybe the fear had always been there, but he had only just been old enough to see it. Maybe it was those butterflies that snapped them out of the illusion that he was a person. 

 

Anthony came back next, anxious but hopeful. Just another day or two, it was going to be okay. He promised. Loki nodded along in his cell. Not the physical one, but the one he was trapped in in his mind, and pretended to believe it. 

He pretended that it would matter to Odin that he hadn’t been able to control his actions. It was nice to pretend he wasn’t already guilty by virtue of existing. 

 

Thor came the next day. He was unusually quiet. Loki was unused to seeing him quiet, and the other Loki wasn’t fond of the sense of unease that it brought. Other Loki snapped and growled insults, but for once Thor paid them no mind. Brushing them off like the rain that had never seemed to bother his elder brother. 

Huh. That was a strange thought. Loki examined the title he still had assigned to Thor in his mind. Loki, the real one, no longer thought of Odin as his Father. He’d stopped being his Dad in Loki’s mind since the butterflies, maybe he’d never been that. But Odin had still been his Father until that moment with the Casket where he’d learned the truth, through eyes that were not his own. Figures it took losing his mind to finally uncover the ugly lies. Regardless, Odin was no longer even his Father, and Frigga not his Mother or his mom. Though she’d come closer to holding the second title, she had chosen to turn a blind eye. She had chosen to protect Odin and his actions, and while Loki could understand her choice, understanding was not justification. Understanding was not forgiveness. He understood Frigga, but she was not his mom. 

Despite all of that, Thor was still his brother. Thor, for all his faults, for all that he had been cruel, for all that he had been blind, had still always tried to be Loki’s brother. Had still always wanted to be Loki’s brother. Blindness had always been one of Thor’s flaws, but it was never willful. Thor had never wanted to be blind, and when offered sight he had always taken it. Frigga had blinded herself by choice. Thor had just been taught not to look towards the shadows. 

Thor was still here. Thor was still trying, and he was still quiet. It had been ten minutes now. Other Loki had gone quiet too. Time for the waiting game. 

It was an hour before Thor spoke. His voice hoarse but measured. Deliberate. 

“Do you remember the drapes that were in the room we shared when we were young? The ones you loved so much?”

Loki did. He remembered them clearly, it had been the only part of the room he had been allowed to pick out. They had been green with little silver and gold butterflies intricately woven into the fabric, and on nights when either child was awoken by bad dreams, Loki would bring the butterflies to life. When they’d been moved out into royal chambers, Loki had let Thor take the drapes so as to ease the pain of separation. They were possibly one of the few things that he could recall only with fondness. 

Other Loki had started spouting off insults while Loki reminisced. Mentally sighing, Loki tried his best to pay attention to what the Other Loki was saying. The longer he listened though, the more something stood out to him. 

“-you think some scraps of blue fabric hastily stitched together-” 

Other Loki didn’t know what Thor was talking about. The drapes he was describing were the ones that Loki currently had in his room. Carefully, Loki reached out and felt the bars of his cage. The mental manifestation of the spell holding him hostage. It was a strange and twisted thing, he had to brush it ever so lightly least it think he was trying to escape again. Examining the spell again was a quick task, he’d already spent ages looking for any weakness in it. This time, he searched for how it was creating the Other Loki. Clearly the other had most of his memories, or at least, enough of them. It was a twisted version of himself, that much he knew. When he peered closer, the spell revealed a interesting caveat to him. 

The Other Loki was created only from negative memories, fed into a loop again and again. It could access, but would avoid neutral memories. Positive memories though, positive memories were completely blocked from the Other Loki. It was to prevent it from developing kindness, but in this case it might just prove to be Loki’s savior. Loki had no negative memories of those drapes, so Other Loki couldn’t recall them either. If only Thor had picked up on it too.

The Other Loki was still rambling angrily, but Thor cut him off. 

“You don’t know what color they were.”

Other Loki took an offensive response.

“As if I would bother to recall something as absolutely foolish as curtain colors. Just because you are locked in some foolish cycle of the past does not mean I am!” 

Thor ignored most of that statement, narrow his eyes and clearly making a risky choice.

“On the Yggdrasil itself, I swear if you can tell me the color and pattern of those curtains in the next minute and without guessing I will not only open this cell but I will allow you to kill me without any resistance.”

Well, that shut Other Loki up. God though, must Thor always take the riskiest path?

Loki clutched the memory of the drapes to himself tightly. He could feel Other Loki shift in his mind, hunting, Searching for any sign of the drapes, but there was none. In a desperate move, it tried to pull the memories from Loki. Tried to twist them, but it could not. The minute past in silence and Thor breathed out. 

“Clint was right. You are not of your own mind. He described the control to us and said the other him it created could not recall his favorite food.” 

Now Thor looked troubled. He had solved one problem, but a greater one was now present. His brow was furrowed, his eyes focused on something or someone else. It lasted only a moment before he turned his gaze back to Loki, his mind clearly made up. His gaze now was piercing, as if he was just now seeing Loki for the first time.

Maybe he was. 

There was regret in the droop of his mouth, sadness in the shape of his eyes, and something between pity and horror in how his eyebrows were drawn up. Still, when he spoke, his tone was determined and fierce. The words were spoken slowly, but there was no doubt in them.

“Brother… These next few days will not be easy. I promise you though, on the Yggdrasil, on all nine realms, on my life and what honor I may have left that I will not fail you as I have in the past. I… I have learned much since I learned to listen and see past just what I wanted. These past weeks have been enlightening, and I would like to think now see people for closer to what they truly are. I promise you, this will not be a repeat of my mistakes in the past.”

Other Loki started to spout off anger at that. Loki paid it no mind. Thor didn’t either, instead he turned and left, the fire in his eyes rekindled. 

 

Hope was dangerous. Loki had lived long enough, had fallen enough times, had lost again and again and again.

And yet.

And yet. 

Anthony came by again the next day. Before he had been nervous, now he was calm. It was a deadly sort of calm. Not the calm before the storm, not a calm that proceeded something big, loud, shiny and violent. 

No, this was the calm of a walk in a forest. The calm in which you marvel in how quiet everything is. The calm just a few moments before you pause to think about why exactly it was so calm. The calm a handful of seconds before you realized that the birds were not gone, only silent and still. The calm thirty seconds before you understand too late that you should have been too. 

It was a deadly, quiet calm. Not that Anthony acted like it, he had a smile on his face. He talked about the wizard who would be coming the next day. He talked about new things he had created, of funny things that had been said and of his latest argument with Clint on bad movies. He talked so much, but what he didn’t say spoke volumes. There was no mention of Asgard, Odin or Thor in all of this. Loki listened anyways. It was nice to pretend. Better than thinking of how Odin would decide to kill him. He talked about the wizard an awful lot. Apparently they’d been in contact long distance as the wizard worked to find things needed to free Loki. Anthony felt it very important to let Loki know that the wizard was surprisingly easy to fluster, and had very pretty eyes. 

Anthony paused before he left. As if he wanted to say something else. The calm in his eyes covered his face for just a moment. Then he gave a bright grin, some quip or another and he left. 

 

It was tomorrow, and nobody had come in the morning. Normally someone did, but today they were probably too busy with preparations. Loki just waited patiently. There was little else he could do. Other Loki paced for a long while, but seemed as resigned to the eventual outcome as Loki himself was. It even allowed Loki a moment of control to summon a single butterfly to flit around the room. The wards prevented anything but the most barebones magic, but such a small, low energy spell slipped right by. Loki was unsurprised, his butterflies were now as much of a part of him as the glamor he wore. 

Other Loki tried to swat the butterfly away, but it flew up to the ceiling where he could not reach it. It stayed up there, mostly still and quiet and it faded from Other Loki’s mind. 

Time passed, as it was so prone to doing. The afternoon came, and with it came people. 

Anthony had returned, the same calm from before settled over him. There was a stranger with him, but it wasn’t hard to recognize him as the wizard that Anthony had spoken of. He introduced himself as Doctor Stephen Strange, as magical bonds pulled Other Loki to the wall of the cell. 

His eyes were in fact, quite pretty.

Okay, that probably wasn’t the most important thing currently happening, but it was true. There was also little for Loki to do here but wait once more, so honestly who could blame him for fact checking Anthony. 

Were Anthony’s eyes prettier than Stephen's? It was a tough call. Loki was quite fond of both of them. 

Unfortunately, before he could turn to get another glimpse of Anthony’s for compersion, he found himself blacking out. Someone was saying words, but they could probably wait. 

 

When he woke up again, the first thing he did was groan because he felt like he’d fallen off the bifrost again. The next thing he did was blink to try and get the bright light above to go away. Wait. He blinked again, more slowly this time.

He could blink. Immediately, he let his magic surge outwards in his mind. No barriers, no cage, no pain, no Other Loki. 

After a moment, he blinked a little more. His vision cleared, and he could see again. Properly now, not through another’s eyes. Loki sat up quickly and conjured a small mirror in his hand, just enough to check. Green eyes peered back at him. Tears welled up at his eyes, but what emotion was overloading him he was unsure. Tears pressed at his eyes, but he scrunched up his eyes, trying desperately not to be weak. It was harder though, it had been a long time since had been in charge of his body.

“Hey, hey, hey. You’re okay. This is all a perfectly normal response to waking up from one of these spells. Best to let the tears out.”

The voice wasn’t familiar. There was a set of hands on his left side very suddenly, then a set on his right. It took a moment for Loki to realize that he had almost fallen back onto the bed. Maybe using magic so soon after being freed wasn’t his smartest idea. He could hear a much more familiar voice fading in as his hearing returned. 

“It’s all fine, it’s great, it’s good. Just breathe for a minute here. Breathing is great. I love it. Never done anything better. Or, well, actually I’ll be honest I don’t know if you need to breathe or not, but it calms Thor down so it should still help. Okay, okay, sorry, shutting up now.” 

Loki wanted to laugh. He wanted to cry. If he had had more energy he might’ve done both. Right now though, he was exhausted so he did as Anthony asked and breathed while tears dripped from the corners of his eyes. After a period that could’ve been anything from a few seconds to several minutes, he recovered enough to open his eyes properly and straighten his back. Carefully the hands that were supporting him moved away. Anthony, judging by how rough the hands felt, moved to prop him up with pillows. Another slice of time passed in silence. It was the unfamiliar voice that finally spoke. 

“I’d ask how you’re doing, but I think you’ve already answered that. So instead, are you seeing any lingering effects or residue? I did my best to clear it all out, but I must say I wasn’t expecting how much there was.” 

Loki had to try to speak three or four times before he remembered that he had to actually form words through vibrations and not just thoughts. When he finally did, his voice was shaky at best. 

“No residue. Living’s hard. Everything’s too much.” 

Almost instantly, the lights dimmed which helped quite a bit. After a few blinks, Loki found himself able to see colors again. The stimuli was much less overwhelming that way. He felt a hand move carefully to feel at his neck. Now that he paid attention to the touch, he noticed that it was quite shaky. Weird. Neither person in the room sounded afraid of him. He didn’t really have the mental energy to try and figure it out though. The unfamiliar voice spoke again, after sending a very gentle pulse of healing magic though the shaking hand. 

“That sounds about right. In all honesty I’m surprised you woke up this quickly. What happened to you... God what I saw when I was breaking the spell.“ 

The voice paused, and Loki’s brain finally made the connection. Stephen. Oh. His voice was pleasant. Not quite as comforting as Anthony’s had become, but pleasant.

“I’m not particularly sure how you survived the spell in the first place. Or, I suppose I should say spells. There was three or four of them haphazardly thrown in there around the primary one. It was nasty to say the least, not to mention the amount of raw power required for the primary spell. A lesser being would have been overwhelmed for sure. I was almost overwhelmed undoing it, I don’t know how much of it you recall, but you were the only reason I wasn’t. I’m still trying to figure out...”

Oh, that was interesting to know. He didn’t recall anything after the initial spell. It was nice to know he had helped. Stephen was still talking too. He sounded like Anthony when he was rambling. 

“...after I had managed to unravel about half of it the spell’s defenses kicked into gear. It almost got into my head as I attempted to pull back when you shattered it. It seems all you needed was for me to weaken it enough before you were able to finish it off.”

Anthony decided to cut in at that point.

“I saw the whole thing. It was badass. One minute I’m freaking out because the blue light was spreading to Stephen and he was starting to scream, next thing I know there’s a blast of green and you’re both out cold. I checked the eyes, and no glowing blue on either of you. So we waited, Stephen woke up quickly and checked you out. Said you were good to go. Fury wanted to keep you in the cell, but Steve straight up carried you over here and Nat had a word with him. And okay this is probably a whole lot for you to take in. Maybe we should just focus on getting you living again first.”

Loki huffed a laugh at that. It was hardly more than an exhale, but Anthony heard it. Loki took in another deep breath and enjoyed the moment before allow himself to sink back in reality. A few more deep breaths and he spoke again. Steadier this time, reflexes slowly being relearned.

“I appreciate greatly, the length you have gone for me. But I can tell you now, as I think you may have already put together, that even with me freed Odin will not accept any word to the contrary of what fits the narrative he wants to tell.” 

He paused for another few breaths. The other two were quiet.

“He will come for me sooner or later. You cannot fight him. Not even with my help, you would not win without great loss. I have warnings I must give to your world before I go. Information that you need, but I will not have any more people dead. I cannot.” 

Loki turned his eyes, pleading Anthony to not argue with him. There were more tears in his eyes that he refused to shed. To his surprise, he saw a smile on Anthony’s face. Anthony’s grin brightened further under Loki’s gaze, and he grabbed a tissue off the bedside table, carefully moving to clean up the old and new tears as he spoke.

“Normally this would be the place where I tell you that I’m never backing down and Odin can fuck right the hell off. But uh, actually your brother already took care of that for us. Yeah, the same night he visited you actually.”

Tony paused to shift so that he was now sitting at the edge of the bed. Loki just watched with wide eyes as he tried to understand what he was hearing.

“Odin didn’t want us to go through with breaking the spell. I guess he didn’t want you to be able to plead your case. So he come down from his high horse to threaten us, only Thor wasn’t having it. Odin told him to step aside, Thor refused. Odin threatened to strip Thor of his powers again. And well, Thor looked him right in the eye and told him to ‘fucking try it’. He picked up cursing from Clint if anyone asks by the way.”

Another pause as Tony looked towards the ceiling, recalling the events as best he could.

“So anyways, Odin was pissed off, and I guess he tried to go through with his threat. Only it didn’t work. There was a moment we thought it might, when his hammer - mjolnir - shook weirdly and he didn’t look great. He figured out some trick to it though, because he pushed through with this huge lightning blast. Odin looked terrified.” 

As serious as the subject matter was, as astounding as everything Loki was hearing was, the only thing he could focus on was Tony’s wild hand gestures. It made him want to laugh, but again he held back. Tony’s story kept going.

“After that, I guess Odin realized he wasn’t going to win the fight. He called Thor possessed at first, but dropped that angle quick when Thor said he was finally seeing clearly. Odin tried to drop an ultimatum, told Thor if he didn’t get you and return to Asgard at once for trail then he would be banished permanently. Asked him if he really wanted to leave behind everything he’s every known for some ‘frost giant runt’. Side note, I don’t really know what that means but I already have questions when you’re feeling better.”

Stephen coughed and Anthony quickly refocused.

“Oh, okay, yeah. So Odin tries to blackmail Thor into giving in, and Thor looked him right in the eye. Teeth bared, totally ready to go to blows with him. I thought he was going to go for honestly, I was ready to throw down with Odin myself. But he kinda took a step forward and stopped and something hit him because all the anger was gone. He took another look at Odin and told him ‘I would die by my brother’s side a thousand times over before I would ever consider returning to yours.’”

Loki felt emotions hit him in a thousand places. Shock. Pride. Awe. Love. Guilt. Fear. It almost hurt and he didn’t bother trying to stop the tears this time.

“Thor turned around after that, turns his back on Odin and started walking away. Guess he decided he was done. Odin was screaming after him, yelling at him to return, just losing his mind, the warriors with him even looked uncomfortable. Uh, one of them actually deserted on the spot to join Thor. Sif? I think you know her. She’s cool. I think Natasha has a crush on her. Don’t tell her I said that though. Either her honestly.” 

Another cough from Stephen and Anthony was back on track. He was also reaching for more tissues.

“At that point, Odin realized that if he tried to press anyone else into attack he might lose more people so he just declared both of them dead to him and in exile. Which seems great to me. Then he left. It’s been quiet since then.” 

Loki needed a minute to recover from the emotional rollercoaster he had just experienced. He wasn’t surprised that Sif had followed Thor. She had always had a powerful moral compass going so far as to side with him over Thor on a select few occasions. That Thor had left everything behind for him though, it was something he would have never dreamed of happening. He tried to just regain his breath, having held it during the story too often for how weak he was.

Stephen’s hand returned to the back of his neck and another pulse of healing magic soothed the aches. Anthony moved to rub his shoulders and for a moment all Loki could do was feel. It seems Stephen still had something left to say though. 

“I… I know you are currently dealing with a lot of emotions, but I feel I would be remiss if I didn’t thank you as well in all of this. I saw the spell you were under, and the pain it must’ve caused you to have to watch everything play out. Yet you still did everything in your power to ensure that you did the least amount of damage possible. You never stopped trying to protect others, even when you had no choice. You never took the easy route and blacked out. I’m not sure I could’ve managed that.” 

It made Loki want to cry, just as he was starting to feel his tears dry up. He hadn’t expected anyone to realize that he’d been working against the other, let alone to thank him for it. All of this felt like his fault on some level, but to know others understood took some of the weight off his shoulders. 

It was a while before he regained his composure. Finally, he spoke. 

“I… I spent all these planning for what would happen after Odin finally killed me. How to get information passed along and plans set into motion as best I could. I tried to set Thor up to be okay without me. I tried to ensure there would be defense for earth after I was gone…” 

He paused. Trying to figure out where he was going with all of this.

“I never considered what I would do if I lived. I have no idea what comes next.” 

It was Anthony who spoke next. His voice soft now, kind, firm.

“Yeah. I’ve been there. First thing you do is you survive. Pick yourself up. Get better. See your brother again and start figuring out things there. He’s been waiting to see you by the way, he just was worried you might react badly to him being the first person you see. Bad history and all. When you’re better, we keep working on that plan of yours. I’m sure you’ll fit into it just fine. You keep going, keep moving forward when you can get back on your feet. Right now though, you just live again. It’s tough, but you’ll get there. And hey, you’ve got all of us here to help you with it.”

Stephen nodded. Loki nodded too after thinking it over for a minute. After all, what else was there to do? If death was not his only card anymore, then he would hold onto whatever else he had with every fiber of his being. He felt that same hope from the night when Anthony had made his promise. From when Thor had learned to see. That spark roared back to life and engulfed his very soul. It was all a bit much to handle. He could feel his eyes drooping, and felt Stephen begin to move him.

“Just rest now.” One of them said.

“You’ll figure it out.” The other said. 

This time, Loki let the dark take him into it’s embrace willingly. 

 

There was so much ahead. Thor had taken the first step in repairing their bent, dented and leaky brotherhood, but there were so many steps left to take by both of them. Awkward, guilt filled conversations that they would have to have. Fights they would have to fight and learn how to fight kindly. Therapy would do wonders for both of them. 

Thanos would come and would have to be stopped. It would be a draining event that would leave so many people battered and bent but not quite broken. So many pieces to be picked up and carefully put back together. 

Loki had a long journey to any sort of recovery. He would never be fully healed, scars never really leave you. But he would learn to accept them as a part of himself and live with them, not just around them. It would take time and pain and tears. Not to mention coming to tears with his bloodline and what it meant for him.

Still, for all the tears that would come, there would be just as much laughter. For every piece knocked off, a helping hand to pick it up and something to help hold the glue. He would learn to help others too, directly, without being mocked or shunned. How to learn and grow beyond fear. Anthony would teach him much about overcoming the defensive mechanisms that had been burned into him. Stephen would teach him much about fear and defeating it. Loki would teach both of them about healing and determination whether he knew it or not. 

A year after Thanos was defeated, Loki would finally feel ready to call Anthony Tony. He would finally feel ready to just sit with Stephen without excuses of studying magic or meditation. He would finally feel ready to tell them he thought they both had equally pretty eyes. The three of them had been dancing around each other all this time, all knowing that it wasn’t quite right. That anything built before would have been on unstable ground. As things began to calm, as they stabilized finally, they decided that it was time to start building. 

Two years after Anthony became Tony and Stephen became more than the only other magic user in the group, Loki would summon butterflies for the both of them first the first time. It was almost a reflex on his own, but it was something more when others were there. 

This time though, the butterflies were not of simple design. They would be elegant and intricate. There would be not dozens but thousands and thousands throughout the gardens that he had grown over the years. Each would have a unique color and pattern that he had made over the years, and each would take part leading his two lovers to the center of the garden where they had not been permitted before. It was the last place that he had refused anyone else entry to. Not even Thor. He had kept this place as his own secret to sit among the butterflies he had created and just exist.

Once he was ready though, once he had sat and contemplated for a very long time. Had thought of the possible results again and again and again, he would let those butterflies spill out over the walls of the center and overtake the garden and beyond. Leading the two people he cared about most to the one place he had been scared to share. 

In the end though, it was a step he would take because he needed to prove it to himself. 

Afterall, only fools with no sight would be afraid of some butterflies, and he knew he deserved better than that now. Once Tony and Stephen would finally make it to the center of that garden, he would know he not only deserved better, but he had better. Had had better all along.

All that was for the future though. For the time being, Loki let himself sleep. He was going to need the energy in the morning.


End file.
